There are 3 main things that you need to consider when you separate from your child’s parent :
- Where the children will live.
- When and how you will ensure the children have time with both parents, as long as this is safe for you and them and in their best interests.
- How you will continue to pay for all the things they need.
There are no set answers to these questions. You have to decide between you what will be best for your children and for you both.
For many families, it may be best for the children to live with one parent most or all of the time, and see their other parent regularly. It is important for children and teenagers to have clear, regular arrangements in place to see the parent they don’t live with and for both parents to keep to arrangements
A parenting plan can help you both to work out what is important in the care of your child, and how you will agree arrangements about small everyday things and big important decisions. You can find a parenting plan to help you and your ex work out arrangements for your children on the Cafcass website.
You will need to work out how you are both going to continue to pay for everything the child needs. All parents have a duty to pay for the things their children need until they are 16, or up until they are 20 if they are still doing their A levels or equivalent study or training. The Moneyhelper website has a useful section that helps you decide on how much you should pay – go to child maintenance
As a last resort if you cannot reach an agreement even after mediation you could consider going to court to obtain a court order that will oblige both parents to adhere to a set of arrangements. It costs £255 to apply for a court order. You may be able to get help paying court fees if you’re on benefits or a low income. You can start your application on line
If you want to discuss your options with an adviser you can check our opening times at Ashford Advice